Magda. Mid twenties. 

Doctor. Late thirties. 

Woman. Mid twenties. To be played by the same actress as Magda.

​

Notes:

A Slash (/) indicates a point of interruption in the text. The next speaker starts talking.

A Dash (- or –) trails an unfinished thought.

Punctuation in the final scene does not.

​

 

A Pause is a brief moment of distance between speakers. A Silence indicates the space of time where the characters are unable to recover from what has just been said and find it impossible to speak. Moreover, no two Pauses or Silences are the same. They vary in length, significance and gravity.

 

Magda

Because I need to protect what's mine!

​

Doctor

I didn't say you shouldn't - don't twist my words.

​

Magda

Well – for a moment I really thought it would work! But no - I need to protect what's mine, this is how I protect what's mine!

 

Doctor

I agree but this is not what I said.

 

Magda

And there was a moment when I really believed I could do it.

 

Doctor

But you can, Magda.

 

Magda

It left me so easily though – It left me and it, honestly, no, I swear to you, no, I thought I could do it. 

 

Doctor

Magda, you can do it.

 

Magda

No I can’t – Now I know I can’t/

 

Doctor

Magda. Listen to me.

​

Magda

And all I know now is that – I knew there was this void in my mind, only now there’s one in my body as well/

 

Doctor

Magda.

 

Magda

And I honestly thought this would make it easier, I mean, the minute you told me, it was so wonderful, you know? Everything just was – So wonderful. It was like an old friend had just come back, or, no, okay? It was like going away, going away for the weekend, away in a beach somewhere, away with a friend somewhere, and while you’re tipping  your toes in water you feel you’re getting to know them for the first time. You know?  Such a wonderful feeling. But then I just… then I, went and set it all / on fire

 

Doctor

Magda.

 

Pause.

 

Magda

It’s before I set the fires?

 

Doctor

Please calm down. I’ve never seen you like this.

 

Magda

Is this before? Has it happened yet?

 

Doctor

We might need to continue some other time. Last thing I need is another episode / 

 

Magda

This is not an episode. This is not an episode.

 

Pause.

 

I just wish I knew why I feel so helpless.

 

Doctor

It’s ok. It’s ok, Magda.

 

Magda

How can you say that? Are you sure I didn’t / kill him yet?

 

Doctor

Because I know it’s going to be ok. I’m a professional. And it’s ok if it’s tough. It’s meant to be. But I wouldn’t have told you news this big if I didn’t think you could  handle it.

 

Pause.

 

Magda

But

 

Doctor

But what?

 

Magda

But you would’ve had to tell me… Eventually… Right?

 

Pause.

​

I mean, how could you not?

​

Doctor

Not necessarily.

 

Magda 

What – How could you possibly not tell me?

 

Doctor

It would have been possible for you not to know. I am your physician, after all.

 

Magda

How?

 

Doctor

If it had been a danger to yourself. Or you to it. It would’ve had to be dealt with. Of course. But I don’t think that, Magda. I think you can do it. I think you have the / strength to 

​

Magda

And you wouldn’t have told me? You wouldn’t have asked me?

 

Doctor

No, of course I would’ve

 

Magda

But you just said – You really would’ve taken this away from me?

 

Doctor

Magda. Let’s focus here, shall we? Let’s focus on the positives. I am telling you a good            thing. I am telling you I believe/ in

 

Magda

You really need to tell me you would never do that, that’s what you need to tell me.

 

Doctor

You know I wouldn’t unless I had a very good /reason

 

Magda

Oh, no. Tell me now. Tell me you will never take this away from me.

 

Doctor

Magda.

 

Magda

You will never! Tell me! Now!

 

Doctor

Magda. You know what I have to do when you become aggressive.

 

Silence.

 

Magda, listen to me. I think this is a wonderful thing. I really do. And I am trying to tell you that I believe you can do it. That something really good can come from this. That is my opinion. My clinical opinion. And it would make things so much easier for us if you could bring yourself to believe it too.

 

Silence.

 

Right. Janice tells me you went to the nurses’ station yesterday and asked for a notebook? Do you want to tell me about that?

 

Silence.

 

 Anyway. I wanted to say that this gives us a wonderful opportunity to examine what we can/

 

Magda

It just feels weird that you get to decide what will happen over me.

 

Doctor

Well Magda you are here because you need help taking care of yourself, so it is only natural that a big decision like that would be up to the physicians taking care of you, and in this case this physician happens to be/ me.

 

Magda

I know.

 

Pause.

 

Doctor

You wouldn’t feel this way if you could bring yourself to just trust me.

 

Pause.

 

What is it? What is it that scares you?

 

Magda

I don’t know.

 

Doctor

Well I am here to make you feel safe. Not to make you miserable. What can I do to prove to you/

 

Magda

I want you to tell me that you would never take this /away from me.

 

Doctor

No, Magda.

 

Silence.

 

I know this is hard to take.

 

Magda

No you don’t.

 

Silence.

 

Doctor

Well obviously rectifying this relationship is the first step towards getting what you want.

 

Magda

No! The first step is for you to understand!

 

Doctor

Understand what?

 

Silence.

 

Magda

See, I knew it! 

 

Pause.

What you don’t understand is what happens in the nights. The nights when I wake up and don’t know anything; when I lie there and don’t know which way is up or if I am really awake or if I am there as myself. And yes it’s torture because I really don’t know. I don’t know the answer to any of those things. And the sensation is horrible because everything starts getting mixed up, everything starts tainting everything else, before, in the end, they taint themselves; and I start seeing voices, paint that conspires to become faces on the walls; and I still don’t know. And it’s not long before every single thing just starts screaming but it’s as if – I’m expecting it because it seems like such a natural thing for them to do, you know? It seems illogical that they should remain silent, just plain crazy, and I get an overwhelming sensation that I just cannot stand ill logic at times like these. I would rather have deafening screams than maddening silence. I just – In those moments I can’t stand things that stand apart in sanity. Everything just has to make sense, even if they have to abandon all sense to do so. And I accept this – I open my heart to it. But right when I am about to sink to hopelessness I find that by now everything has sort of muddled together and hopelessness has mixed up with something it shouldn’t have and it turns to elation. Isn’t that strange? Hopelessness has turned to elation. 

 

Silence.